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Courseware Publications |
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Apple Barn Court, Old Church Lane |
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Apple Barn Court, Old Church Lane, Westley, Bury St Edmunds, England. IP33 3TJ |
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www.courseware-publications.co.uk |
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Old jokes of the Week! |
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The funeral service is being held for a headteacher who has died suddenly. At the end of the service, the departmental heads are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that their headteacher is actually alive! |
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He lives for ten more years, introduces a new performance management plan and bans study leave. He then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are - once again - carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the Head of Geography cries out: "Watch that wall!" |
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In Year 6 Science, the teacher asks "Can anyone tell me what part of the body increases to ten times it's normal size when stimulated?" |
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There is silence from the class, so he asks the question again. Then Chardonnay stands up and says "You shouldn't be asking questions like that to your class. I'm telling my mum who will tell the head master and he will have you sacked!" |
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The teacher ignores her and carries on, "Can anyone tell me the answer?" Then Darren raises his hand and says "Is it the pupil of the eye?" |
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"Very good," the teacher replies. He then turns to Chardonnay and says "I only have three things to say to you young lady. One, you have a dirty mind. two, if you did your homework you would have known the answer, and three, one day you're going to be very very disappointed." |
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An irritated NQT asked his GCSE class, "If there are any more idiots in the room who prefer to throw paper around rather than work, will they please stand up?" After a long silence, one quiet girl rose to her feet. |
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"So, Jessica, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the new teacher with a sneer. |
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"Well, actually I don't," answered Jessica, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." |