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DI Pat North: Okay, Sharon, you know why we’re here. Don’t make things difficult for yourself.
Sharon: I don’t know nuffink. I’m saying nuffink til ah’ve seen my brief.
DI Pat North: Play it anyway you like, Sharon. You’re going down this time and for a long stretch.
Sharon: Get orff. You’ve got nuffink on me!
DI Pat North: Don’t be so sure. Where were you on the 14th June, the 15th July and September 9th?
Sharon: Don’t remember.
DI Pat North: Well let me jog your memory, Sharon. Monday 14th June 10.45 am The Shopping Centre, just outside Woolworths. Remember now?
Sharon: Get away. You can’t prove nuffink.
DI Pat North: You were both there. We’ve got you on the closed circuit.
Sharon: It was okay. It was the doctor’s. She had a note.
DI Pat North: No chance, Sharon. The doctor’s not pulled the confidentiality clause. He’s blabbed. You cancelled and you know it.
Sharon: But…
DI Pat North: Wednesday 15th July. What about that one then? You can’t wriggle out of that. We’ve got your bus tickets…
Sharon: Yeah, but it was only the once. It was study leave for everyone else and practice day for the sports. Year 9 wasn’t doing nuffink that week…
DI Pat North: Not the point Sharon, is it? You know the law. You’re going down for several weekends and you know it.
Sharon: You’ve got nuffink on me. It won’t stick in court…
(Enter Detective Superintendent Mike Walker)
DS Mike Walker: We’ve got it boss. We’re home and dry now. We’ve got her bang to rights now…
Sharon: Mike!
DS Mike Walker: Sharon!
DI Pat North: Do you too know each other?
DS Mike Walker: Sharon used to be my snout when I was DI at Larkwell…
DI Pat North: And I’ll bet you were in her trough too, you bastard.
(Opens whisky bottle, drinks half, smokes three ciggies)
Sharon: Help me Mike. You can get me off this rap. I’ll do anything…
DS Mike Walker: I’m sorry, Sharon. No chance. If it was GBH or drunk driving then maybe but I’m afraid you’ve blown it this time. Big time, I’m afraid. We’ve got what we need, Boss. The form tutor came through. We’ve got the register.
DI Pat North: Oh Mike, why did I ever doubt you?
DS Mike Walker: It’s all we need. Ten unauthorised absences in three terms. Three CCTV pictures of you and Kelly out shopping, two bus tickets and a clear ID from the waiter in Pizza Palace. It’s no good Sharon, the game’s up.
DI Pat North: Don’t start planning any Christmas shopping outings, Sharon. When the judge sees this, you wont have a free weekend until February. Watch your back in there too. The shoplifters are after you. They want revenge since the extra patrols started.
Sharon: Okay, I know I’m going down. You’ve got me … but there’s one thing you should know Mike…
DS Mike Walker: And what’s that, jailbait?
Sharon: It’s Kelly… she’s yours. She’s your daughter.
DI Pat North: You bastard, Mike. How could you?
(Empties whisky bottle, smokes four ciggies)
In next weeks episode, Sharon seduces the headteacher, the register turns out to be forged and Kelly gets five GCSE grades at A*-C. Trial and Retribution VIII is produced with apologies to Lynda La Plante. DI Pat North was played by Estelle Morris, DS Mike Walker by Tim Brighouse and Sharon by that woman from EastEnders who always does slappers.
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